Society and the Dying Art of Disagreement.
Writing about this topic feels like I am dissecting my own anatomy and those of my friends. In fact, the toughest thing about talking of yourself is that often you will try as hard as possible to detach the self as well as your conscious. Unfortunately it is not usually possible. Never the less, I must hit this nail on my own coffin even if it means it were the last blow. It is because I care of a better me.
If someone walked up to you and asked you, “what is a disagreement?” Greater chances are that you will disagree to agree about the definition of disagreement. What a paradox! There are some chances too that violence and blows can sprout because of the failure to agree about disagreement. Another paradox. Simply put, disagreements are part of our daily life.
Ever noticed how disagreements are very common nowadays? In most cases, the disagreement ends up turning rouse the hidden animosities amongst people which leads to violence. You don’t need a calculator to discern why there is increased divisiveness amongst the people in the country. Politics is the reason. Hardly can we explain what it is, what hypnotizing effect it has and how that resultant effect brings about disagreements.
What has changed?
Wisdom of old age says, “Engage your brain first before you can engage your mouth.” That is to say, before we can answer or react back, we should take time to understand the other person’s perspective. We are often too fast to talk even when we have not properly gotten the complete thoughts of the other party.
In our contemporary world, keeping quiet is seen as a weakness yet in most cases it wields the highest power. Want to know how? Read about individuals such as Mahatma Gandhi, Albert Einstein, John D. Rockefeller and many more others. They exactly knew when they had to stop and reflect.
To avoid much conflict in the modern age, we have to yield to the undying need of not saying more than is necessary. We need to understand that silence helps us avoid the greatest of conflicts and disagreements.
Another important aspect of the art of disagreement dying slowly is the ability to keep eye contact and be deeply involved in the conversation. This has two advantages; one is that you are able to be in the other persons’ shoes. Secondly is that you can see the drive behind that disagreement. With these two powerful tools, you are able to keenly understand the “point of view” of the other person which often makes the disagreement less cumbersome.
Nowadays, there is another challenge. In a disagreement scenario you ought to know the “strategic point” when you have to stop talking. Disagreements can turn out to be sweet moments to learn about maturity and character of people. The mature know a certain point beyond which they cannot push further. The opposite class goes on and on and on until they lose it all. To get back home, we ought to know when, where and how to stop talking unless it is very necessary.
This preceding point is closely tied to turn taking. Proper turn taking eases up the tension in disagreeing parties. It gives them another opportunity to coagulate their ideas and their stands. Taking time to think often gives individuals time to look at the issue critically before reacting to it immediately. This one too is lost.
What do we do?
We ought, going forward, to take our time to think quite well about the issues that confront us before we can react to them. This reminded me of a short disagreement, often, between some two friends of mine about one and the same thing. Had they posed for a moment and keenly gotten each other’s points of argument, they could laugh themselves silly realizing they are talking of the same thing.
Henceforth, take your time to listen to the other party, master the art of turn taking, be in the trail (be attentive), know when to stop talking and mostly try as much as you can to get the other person’s point of view by all means. Disagreements would take a whole lot of twist and become constructive disagreement.
Copyright @ 2017.