Today I was sitting in some corner at one of the buildings in the capital Nairobi to draft this small piece. I got rather curious why many of us have remained single up to our late thirties or forties. The blame is usually placed on women. Most single guys say that girls always love the bad guys. I don’t know if it is true. Who are the bad guys anyway? The hard rock guy? Or the hip hop and Afro jazz guys with long hairs and dreadlocks? Definitely there are good guys who keep long hair and dreadlocks, listen to reggae music, hip hop and jazz. To me the bad guys are the abusive guys. It could be in a relationship or in some life occasions, period. Ladies really love them. Most of these men are the alpha males, they have gone to the gym and are well built, have a few coins here and there or come from the rich class, love going out to parties and are generally extravagant. To the ladies, this is the true definition of security.


There greatest problem of the bad and alpha males is dominance. They live for the moment. You are their girlfriend at a specific moment, once you are out the vicinity, you are out of them. When they are happy you mean everything to them. When the mountains approach they beat you and barter you for being the reason of their misfortune when clearly you are not. When you are the hot chic, you are theirs; they own you. When your days start becoming gloomy, you move out of their picture. Make a mistake of asking them why they are not receiving your calls lately or why one of your girlfriends spotted them with another chic in town and you get a punch on the face. With all those punches and beatings, the girls still say, “but I love him.”

The other single lot of good guys is the silent invincible folk. You get them hooked up reading their books, articles and important stuff to help build themselves. They are not into showing off whatever things they have. They don’t brag of material possessions even if they have them, they only love some quality time of their own. The good point is that in as much as they spend their time on their individual development, they still create other quality time for other people. With the ladies running around looking for the shiny and noisy guys who are showing off, is it likely going to be a miracle one day that they see these silent good guys around? Life sometimes gives us experience and then teaches us later.

As the years roll by, and the good guys develop their own boundaries, the ladies run around doing injustice to their preciousness. As a matter of fact, at some point in life, people always tend to prefer life partners whom they share a lot in common. The fact still remains that the statement, “all guys are the same” or “all women are the same,” is outright wrong. We are all different. Even if we are born twins our fingerprints will never be the same. In simple terms I mean if you want to find the right person don’t waste yourself running in the wrong places hopping to find them there. What that does is to fill you with bitterness and leaving you emotionally broken to you thirties and forties. Be the good partner and I am very sure you will rub shoulders with the other right partner and end up getting together at exactly the right moment.

Copyright @ 2016

Geoffrey Ndege

Geoffrey Ndege

Geoffrey Ndege is the Editor and topical contributor for the Daily Focus. He writes in the areas of Science, Manufacturing, Technology, Innovation, Governance, Management and International Emerging Issues. For featuring, promotions or support, reach out to us at
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akwii rachael
akwii rachael
6 years ago

nice one there

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