Do We Get Unfairly Judgmental at Times?

Unfair judgement
Judging other people unfairly often is as a result of our own wrong perception. Pic Courtesy of Pinterest.

 

A lot of years ago, a certain family decided to hold a celebration. For those of us who grew up in the village, celebrations came in all manner of ways. Some were organized to celebrate the birth of a child, others to celebrate a personal achievement while others were more pronounced when people got married.

Others could be and can be sensational and comical in a way. Like the case of a stolen bull in which the village warriors go risking their lives to liberate from the hands of the deadly neighbors across the border only to bring it back home and slaughter it to celebrate the heroic act. At this point you are left to wonder if the rescue mission was for the meal or the poor animal’s freedom.

Well, I can’t remember what this celebration was all about but I remember it was organized by one of the village families others looked down upon because every villager knew them as the poorest of all folks any of us had come across.

In fact when word went around that this family was organizing an overnight dance celebration, people wouldn’t believe. As many as attended to ascertain if for real there was any celebration in the first place, as many did sleep with surety there would be nothing to eat.

Let me disappoint even some of you readers that sometimes we can be sentimentally unfair in our judgments. There was food in this celebration for that matter. The reason I brought up this story however is because of one woman who attended. We can call her Alice for today.

Alice, went to this celebration with only one intention, to confirm if for sure there would be any food to eat. Probably she had planned to go around the village confirming to everyone that she had attended a ‘dry’ party. Her first shock as well as for others also was when bunches of ripe bananas were brought to help psyche up the attendees.

So as you would guess a good number of the guests pounced on the bananas since they weren’t sure if there would be any other food beside. Alice ate well to her satisfaction and even hid others in her leso to feast later. However some were keen to eat a little in case more food came. Surprisingly enough, the organizers had planned themselves properly.

After the feast of bananas, the second meal to come was gallons of porridge. People drank as they desired but Alice sure that this would be the last meal, drank with conviction while eating her other part of the bananas and waited for the main part of the celebration now; the dancing.

As if in a movie, the main meal arrived to many people’s surprise and it was a stew of meat and ugali made of Wimbi. For those who can connect the dots here can know what such a combination means to some ethnic tribes in this country. It is the ultimate crown of benevolence to have such a meal and if it is brought, irrespective of their state some people have to eat it.

So Alice being one of those who couldn’t let such a meal be feasted by others while she watched, she went ahead to enjoy this one too in as much as her stomach was already full with bananas and several cups of porridge enjoyed in denial that sometimes our judgments could be wrong.

She ate this one too to her fill and by the time she was done, she wouldn’t move. She was too full to even make a movement. She got carried by some strong boys of the village to her house and she ended up missing the main part of the night celebration enjoyed by most people; the dancing.

As if her woes weren’t enough, a few hours into her sleep, her children were woken up to the groans of their mother in a lot pain.

Her stomach wouldn’t stand the cologne of what was in it. It decided to demonstrate and now those around were thrown into confusion to try and save Alice. Some went to look for the village tissue papers – the special leaves, others in the dead of the night went searching for the herbal trees believed to normalize such situations.

In the following hours, Alice had her worst experience. She had a diarrhea that ensured her operation was mapped to operate between the bed and the toilet. She had learnt her lesson. And in the ensuing years that followed, she became the most disciplined person in the village in terms of appetite and other aspects of life.

I wrote about this story, when I overheard someone lament about a presentation that was made to them on how better it would have been made. Like in this young man’s view, the know it all, the presentation ought to have been made according to his taste. In his judgment he might have missed great insights simply because of self-sufficiency.

Sometimes we judge too unfairly. It is important to appreciate that we are all gifted differently and that even if some people look like they are not gifted as we are, over time things get to be perfected and that we might find them better than us.

In that case we are to appreciate the effort of time. And if they have not caught up with us, we are to encourage them and help them in growth. There is nothing good that can move someone’s spirits by simply knowing you appreciate their small effort.

Don’t be too judgmental. Sometimes it is unfairly and in others it would be that you are the problem and not the other party.

End.

Copyright @ 2020.

Geoffrey Ndege

Geoffrey Ndege

Geoffrey Ndege is the Editor and topical contributor for the Daily Focus. He writes in the areas of Science, Manufacturing, Technology, Innovation, Governance, Management and International Emerging Issues. For featuring, promotions or support, reach out to us at info@dailyfocus.co.ke
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