Gender, love and the single; a real perspective.
Accounts of love have been given for many years now. Love was there even before Christ came to the world, love which is our foundation was there from the beginning. Love is very central to many forms of life as seen by accounts from animals, birds, fish and insects. The recent years however have seen a sharp increase in the rise of single young men and women where the latter prefer to be called independent ladies class. The single women lot consider the issue of men domination as heads of family mystified and to demystify the same, they want to lead single independent families where they are heads and women of the family. In simple terms they get to have “No Strings Attached” associations and can choose who to sire their children with and it ends there and then.
It looks a bit awesome of course given the independence of these form of family setting. The woman is favored because she knows society is favoring them more as opposed to the male lot. To illustrate this let us look at this example. I am a man, a lady comes and pushes me down in a bid to board a bus or one slaps me because I tried to inquire why she stepped on me; truth be told, nothing will be done. In fact that is when you will hear, “Mwanaume ni kukanyawa ama ni kuangushwa” translated to mean a man ought to be stepped on or be pushed down. Society believes that is the thing. Try it on a woman and you will know something like the law exists. The single woman has lots of things to her advantage, she can get children to her favors by choosing the right mate. She can also get lots of men to take her out and get to enjoy life as it favors her. She can easily get society programs which can empower her right when she needs it. She will have women groups and male groups to defend her in case she does somebody wrong and she is battered because if she says she did nobody any wrong she will be believed.
What about a single man. All he can do is drink, drink and drink to his best. Otherwise this man can only be sighted by a young lady in a club for single night escapades and it’s done. This men can only sleep with the sharp hawked young and even old ladies who need nothing more than the pleasure of sex. Now if accidentally this man gets battered in the escapade circus, very little will be done. Remember this man cannot have his kids by choice like the woman, he can only be a sperm donor and might not even know anything about the kid depending on the mutual agreement of siring. The same can hardly adopt children because trust is hard to come by on the caring for the same. The best this lot can do is party and waste their lives in misery and denial.
Being a single mother or dad is no better than being a single man or woman without children unless the single parenting came as a result of your partner succumbed. In this case that is a special group of people who society looks up to and respects. If it is the young generation that is full of choices taken because perhaps the old folk have devised all means to take the young women for their sons; the universe hardly forgives such. To counter the rising cases of stress and joy of having a small group of a big girl or boy with other young girls and boys by your side, we need to have good families. Look beyond the looks, beyond the tribe, beyond the race because character just like hunger never goes. Only looks go away.
All we need today more than ever is to have the sanctity of the marriage come back to us. To have our young men and women look up to be pure lilies in the family, to be faithful to each other, to wait upon times before taking the right choices is a dream we have for this generations. As I take my evening walks and see young men and women in relationships walk and enjoy their love past me or the young couples going shopping together, I pray they yield it to the end.