Is love enough for marriage.

Marriage is first defined as a legal union between two mature individuals, a man and woman, with family ties and with both social rights and responsibilities. Quite long huh! Marriage has a chief aim which is for creating family and companionship. Anything like a union between same genders is abuse of the sanctity of marriage. Adoption of children for such same gender marriage is not child bearing, such companionship is ill intentioned and evil. I mean marriage serves a lot between the two individuals involved. Imagine in a same gender marriage; supposedly a man with another man, one being a “wife” and the other “husband” in the morning dressing up for work, who asks who to straighten the collar, who goes to the market. Sounds weird. This is where the individuals will certainly say, but we LOVE each other. Enough of the abuse from same sex marriage illustration.

Now come to think of this other scenario. A man marries a woman because he loves her so much and once they start the journey called marriage, the man realizes that the woman is ill mannered, cannot do any house chores and cannot even cook for him. Worse still he realizes that this woman can’t manage resources well and is more of girl than a wife. Then one day the husband comes home and finds her wife relaxing on the couch, nothing has been done, no food but she welcomes her with a lot of love. That day the husband sleeps hungry but having been pampered with love. The next morning no breakfast but there is pampering with lots of good words, pecks and all sorts of romantic things; don’t forget the husband will go on an empty stomach. The point is that they LOVE each other. How long can that go on? And now my main question, IS LOVE ENOUGH FOR MARRIAGE?

Definitely from these two analogies, the answer is NO. Love is undoubtedly one of the ingredients in marriage but should never be the only criteria one should use when choosing a marriage partner. I was watching a documentary about a husband who brutally murdered his wife in California and there was this investigative police who said, “Anyone who abuses his wife or any woman is not supposed to be a citizen here.” What I pick from this statement is that in any marriage, the man ought to respect the wife. In another case, age old advice to young wives has been, “respect and care for your husband or else someone will snatch her from you” which simply translates to the fact that wives ought to respect their husbands. RESPECT here is two dimensional hence a very key ingredient in marriage. Who on earth wants to put up with a disrespectful person especially a full grown adult without respect.

Secondly maturity is very key in a marriage. Marriage is like a garden with flowers, without watering, weeding and dressing the marriage is not there anymore. Maturity is very key because just like any institution with more than one person needs to make decisions and it is the decision that determine the continued existence of the organization. Marriage too has two people born by different people, raised differently and under different environments. It is a mature mind that can only understand this hence know how to put up with such people. Occasionally for the sake of peace, compromise is needed in an institution such as marriage. Being mature means you understand when to compromise and when necessary how to handle various challenges that come your way. It is not a bed of roses all through, which should sink deep into the mind.

Love then comes at this stage, and it comes in form of care not just butterflies in the stomach. Trying feeling butterflies for a whole month and you won’t like it. It is like craving for meat, then one day you decide you will eat the meat in the morning, lunch, dinner and supper. It will only go on for a week and you get pissed off. Caring is the word to stand for love in marriage. In care, different challenges arise in the everyday life situation which builds up the ability to stay in marriage and stay for good. Being emotionally stable means being able to stand for people especially your partner even when it feels like not. Love and care means doing that one right thing you feel like not doing but because you know the success of the marriage depends upon that thing, you do it anyway. Love your wife because she is you queen and love your husband because he is your king. Love your children because they are the princes and princesses and the royal family will prosper with the kingdom called marriage.

We can now agree that marriage success is more than love itself. There are more split factors but all are coined in these three factors. “Just as I have loved you, continue ye in my love” this word from the bible should guide us to know how to be of blessings to our families, in our marriages and to humanity at large.

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