The Promises Galore: When I Will Marry You…

I am not a firm believer in promises. And not all promises for the sake of disclaimer to those who might crucify me for the promises they gave me and honoured. On the flip side, I can attest that I try to honour any promises I make as much as possible. Even if I may not have honoured them one hundred per cent, at least my count ranges in the nineties.

Nevertheless, I have had to relook my take on promises. Listening to one famous radio host on his morning show interview women who ranted about how they wished to hear those beautiful nothings even in the absence of tangible things, I questioned my belief in the phrase, ‘My word is my bond.’

So, it is easier to win some woman somewhere by promising them heaven even though I intend to deliver hell. At least I will only meet their quest of hearing what they want to hear at that moment irrespective of what the end goal could be.

The few men like me who would choose to promise tangible but maybe small things are thrown off the hook not because they are not promises but because they are small or rather little. Another guy comes along and promises big ‘empty’ things and that is it.

In line with the new spirit, I decided to make a list of promises to the woman I would marry. I will list just a few of the things I intend to do along with their timelines. No disclaimer though.

Holiday in Langham Hotels London

In the first one hundred days of our marriage, I promise you a lodge in one of the best and most exclusive hotels in London: the Langham Hotel. We will go there and spend pounds on our honeymoon. A night will cost us over 600 pounds, no worries though, and I intend for us to stay there for a whole month.

We will visit the best castles in England and feel the beauty of Scotland. Then we will fly over to the Bahamas on our way back home. And because I am a truthful man, I will tell you why I chose London, it is a cheaper destination than Iceland.

The ladies I was wooing and will be wooing in these previous regimes before I meet you will be to blame. I foresee our meeting when the coffers are empty and trust me you may inherit me when I will be ailing economically. Be prepared to be patient with me until we come to our feet before we can visit the rest of the world.

A visit to the Moon

By the ninth month of our marriage relationship, I promise to take you to the moon abode a Space X rocket. There you will plant a tree to commemorate your visit and if possible, do what we can for you to conceive while there for you to become the first woman to get pregnant on the moon. We are going to be a union of breaking records.

And as you may have realized, I am hell-bent to make the stars come to you. Instead of looking at the stars through a telescope, I will take you to space to see them up and close so that you can tell their beauty and connect with them every time I equate your beauty to the stars while we are down here on Earth.

A private jet, private castle, and loyal treatment

Because you are my one and only special queen, I will get you a special private castle in which you will be the supreme leader. You will have all manner of servants close to you to order around as you would wish, and all the pleasantries money can afford.

You will have a private jet to move from place to place as well as a private cruise ship. I intend to spoil you. By choosing me, I promise you will have made the right decision and one you will be very proud of for years to come.

Nevertheless, for us to achieve all these pleasantries, we will need to overtax ourselves and start saving as soon as now. The taxes will enable us to have the castle, purchase the assets I promised you, and pay the bills for the cruising. Still, just trust me at my word that we shall achieve all these things.

So what are you waiting for, let’s find each other while we are hustlers!