The Rise of Self Acclaimed Doctors.

The Rise of Self Acclaimed Doctors.

Last week I hopped into a bus along Ngong’ road as I headed to the CBD. Inside the bus I met this guy who was promoting some interesting drug called Kaluma that one needs to munch and it will treat everything that is related to coughs and headaches.

I loved the way the guy presented his facts regarding this drug that was more of a confectionery or rather a sweet. He gave its benefits, what it could be able to accomplish in four hours and hammered the last nail on the coffin with the benefit of it being herbal. And herbal to him means no chemicals.

Of course it did the magic because he ended up selling a good number of them. Then second on his list was a liquid kind of mouth wash that helped one save the dentist visits. It seemed to heal everything to do with teeth including to help maintain all the thirty two teeth till our deaths in advanced old age.

As you could guess, we got tempted to buy. I just hoped he could fish out one that grows hair and we could all have bought it. Today young men and women are losing hair at terrific rates until getting “herbal” solution to this menace becomes a prayer for ‘us’ every day.

Last on his list was a purely herbal drug that he kept insisting keeps the mast standing. At this juncture he turned to a marital expert and for a moment brought the sexology clinic to the people. He gave anybody with sexual issues advice to use his drug and within four days their problems would be sorted.

This was the most interesting marketing part of his pitch. At this point people kept quiet and listened attentively. For fact, it is at this point that he became a ‘doctor’ because uninterested people all of a sudden demanded for his number while others bought this drug that enhanced sexual performance for their neighbours and relatives they knew needed it. I am not in position to validate this.

Up to this time, our ‘doctor’s drugs’ had been authenticated as without any side effects. They worked under all conditions and with all other types of diseases such as high blood pressure, diabetes and many more others.

Our doctor then retreated to an empty chair and asked those who wanted to see him in private for the drug and its efficacy to go and sit next to him for consultation. I alighted just as he was retreating to his mobile consultation room and I am sure he saw one, two or even more clients before the vehicle halting at its final destination.

How interesting that we live in an age where everyone we know is a doctor and expert in all manner of drugs and therapies. Even international companies have realized how Kenyans are so much into natural and herbal drugs to a level they have perfected them as swindling avenues from innocent Kenyans.

I was laughing with a friend of mine a while back that Kenyans can laugh heartily at a person eating raw Napier grass or a goat munching it with relish but won’t mind drinking it with warm water or adding it to their soup after it has been dried and milled and labelled herbal drug.

As long as you assure them that the dried and milled grass helps in one way or the other, they won’t mind the Nyani hucheka kundule ya mwenzake fact. This is how far these self-acclaimed doctors have gone and they seem to perfect the art with each passing day.

Well, it doesn’t mean that I don’t support herbals or natural remedies, I do support them a lot. My point however is that they need to be administered by somebody who has proper knowledge of them and not every Tom, Dick and Harry.

I remember reading in my history that there were medicine men in the old who treated our ancestors and grandfathers. These were special people who had taken time to learn about plants and had through research albeit without modern labs discovered cures for diseases. They were thus highly respected to a wide range and people came from far and wide to seek their treatment.

Nowadays these so called doctors go around opening churches and calling themselves prophets and talking of deliverance and healing. They come to church with some drugs healing even bizarre diseases such as poverty and require you buy the drug to deliver you from poverty.

Instead of helping you move out of poverty, they plunge you further into it. Others go about claiming to be healers and when they give you whatever they call a drug that helps heal your sexual dysfunction, your marriage breaks even further because you worsen the situation.

It is high time we threaded carefully with our self-acclaimed doctors who even in the face of public judgment don’t even qualify by the lowest grade to be even herbalists. The one who can tell you to eat lemons for cough.

Don’t be swindled of your hard earned cash only to realize someone sold you dried and crushed sukuma wiki leaves in the name of a magic drug that cures diabetes. Stay on watch.



Geoffrey Ndege

Geoffrey Ndege

Geoffrey Ndege is the Editor and topical contributor for the Daily Focus. He writes in the areas of Science, Politics, Policy, Technology, Current Affairs, Opinion, Agriculture, Energy, Education, Entrepreneurship, Governance, International Emerging Issues, Society, and culture. For featuring, promotions or support write to us at
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