We can Lose Everything, but let us not Lose Love.
I have done my own research, not scientific lest you ask empiricism of me, and I have realized that this world revolves around love. This very four lettered word has been abused, misused, misunderstood and misrepresented yet still it makes this world rock.
If you would want a taste of a world void of love, take the example of animosity that gets broadcasted daily. From people murdering others to parents killing their children to others who become suicide bombers, you can agree with me that all that seems far from the ideal society we would wish for.
Surprisingly enough, I overhear people saying they are void of love in my everyday interactions. Let me be a bit straightforward that the void is not about their expectation to be loved, nay. It is the fact that they themselves don’t have love so to say.
Some of those I have deeply interacted with tell me that their past relationships affected them severely that they don’t have the energy to love again. When I tend to point out to them that saying they cannot love may end depriving them the full joy of the present, I am then reminded that maybe I haven’t loved and if I did then it was not real and true. Truthfully though, I have experienced deep love and at the same time I have been heartbroken yet I am open to love again.
Now, let’s go to the very basics of what love is. Essentially most people take obsession to mean love. Let us take the example of a phone. It is in the public domain that most people nowadays love their phones more than they love other people. How do we call that love?
It is simply obsession. When you love your items with principle and then accidentally your kid throws your iphone into the pool, you don’t kill them. You may discipline them but most importantly you will explain to them why what they have done is wrong and the value of the item they destroyed.
In the obsession spectrum, you either kill yourself, kill the child or kill the both of you. In the end everything is lost and not just that, more than what would have been termed just or equivalent. That is why love needs to be a principle.
When I keep talking of a principle, I don’t expect that we take it as the fundamental assumption or belief that dictates things within a certain context. It goes a notch higher to encompass the aspect of morality; what would be considered as generally acceptable and sound.
Just like the moral laws we find in the bible in which breaking one law is equated to breaking all the other laws, saying that someone won’t love another person again in the context of eros love encompasses the fact that that person would most likely extend the irrationality to even the love for family no wonder they can kill their kin without outright regard of the Godly or universal moral law that depicts what can be termed as right from that that is outrightly wrong.
It thus means that as we enter into relationships, we should do so with lots of sobriety. We should know that we don’t lose our individuality for the sake of the other person to the point that when it does not work, we become lame for life.
We should know that when we enter into a relationship with somebody else, we come in as two complete individuals and not as half ones with expectations of being made full by the other person. The danger with most of us is the mindset that we enter into a relationship as a half and half so that we can make a full digit with the other individual.
On a light note, when you come as a half expecting to be made full by the other person, it is possible that they may take your half as well to make their full and, in the process, they leave you empty. As such the fact that I won’t love again because you are left ‘empty.’
Digging a little bit deeper into this analogy may reveal the danger to any other love when we continually tell ourselves that we lost it all once someone we love deeply walks out of our lives. Let suppose that all the loves that exist in a person are intertwined. The danger of losing one ends up meaning that we lose everything eventually.
The point I am driving home is not the analogies themselves but the concept that we should always be aware of is that love is what we have the most and one that we should guard so as not to lose. When we lose love, the one that we as a people have to give out, it means that we have lost everything.
As much as we can, let our concept be of the love that we give out or extend to others as opposed to the love that we expect others to extend to us. The same challenge J F Kennedy posed to the Americans decades ago is the same principle that should lead us not lose love itself.
He said, ‘Don’t ask what America can do for you, ask what you can do to America.’ It thus means that what one can do to America can never be enough. It can never end as long as one lives. No wonder even the bible says in a paraphrased form that it is more honorable to give than to receive.
If we realize that yes, we can lose very many things, yet if we ask ourselves what we do for others even when they hurt us or walk away from our lives, then we will realize that we can never be void of love and as such we will have the greatest capital resource ever given to humanity; love.
It is not easy but is possible. Even after Jesus of Nazareth being crucified on the cross, he forgave his perpetrators; an act of love. Lose everything, but don’t lose love.