What Feelings Do You Make of Other People?

It is often said that, “people will certainly forget what you said to them, what you did to them but they won’t forget how you made them feel.” That is what feelings can do.

The Merriam Webster dictionary defines feeling as one of the basic physical senses of which the skin contains the chief end organs and of which the sensation of touch and temperature are characteristic. It could also be defined as an emotional state or reaction.

In the Inside Story; Understanding the Power of Feelings, the word emotion can be defined as “energy” in motion. An emotion, the book says, is a strong feeling. I used this book’s definition to simplify the definition of feeling as put forward in the second definition of the Merriam Webster dictionary.

So do people often forget you for good or they don’t like to associate with you? The reason could be hidden in how you make them feel. Perhaps they see you as threatening, fierce, scary or overly violent. This makes them have rebellious attitude towards you. It all begins in the brains.

The brain has “3 brains” so to say. The 1st brain controls your instincts, reflexes and basic physical functioning. The second brain is the core of emotional part of the person. This part makes us have a sense of sadness or joy, anger, fear as well as feelings of security, pleasure and joy of bonding with others. The 3rd part often referred to as cortex is involved in thinking, problem-solving, goal-setting and planning. The 2nd and 3rd parts of the brain are responsible for the feelings we make of other people.

The book states,” If the 2nd and 3rd brains are not working well, we may not even know how we are feeling, yet the feelings can drive our actions and affect our thoughts and decisions.” The critical point here is to master the art of innate speaking. The ability to speak and converse not merely with the person but also the emotional part of the person. To achieve this, always ensure you are your best when meeting people. Smile a lot, look sharp and make them feel good and happy. Let them laugh a lot.

For instance the symbol for love has in most cases the heart, and did you know that the love feeling is one of the greatest on earth? In other words there is a strong connection on what we commune with people, how we communicate it and the effect it has on their heart activity. How we talk to people and what we tell them often affects both the sensual and emotional aspects of their whole body. Heart activity is central in this.

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The best of us is the feelings we make in other people. Photo Courtesy of GeniusQuotes.

So how does heart activity affect how we feel? The book lists the five stages as follows:

  1. Disordered heart rhythms for instance signals the brain that we are feeling stress.
  2. Ordered heart rhythms signal the brain that we are feeling calm and positive.
  3. The 1st brain and the medulla regulate blood pressure and the automatic nervous system.
  4. The 2nd brain [which includes the amygdala] monitors heart rhythm patterns and other body responses to sense how the body is feeling.
  5. The 3rd brain monitors the activity in 2nd brain and names the feelings.

We cannot treat the above fundamentals, as psychobabble since we can all agree it stands as kernels for understanding human feeling. To have a lasting indentation in the state of people, converse with them heart to heart. Harness their feelings and precisely match the response. People will love to remember you for that.
If for instance you meet a frustrated individual, give them time to talk and unleash their flesh fangs of displeasure; just listen. When it comes to time of talking, let your voice lower their heart activity by making the voice calm and soft. That reduces their heart activity and is slowly conceptualized in the 3rd brains as a feeling of care.

For love, raise the excitement and state of charm in your partner. Use touch, make them laugh a lot and the heart activity will signal a feeling of delight, admiration or arousal which the 3rd brain will decode for love. It ain’t no magic nor occult.

Let us say you meet a physically challenged person, smile to them and talk of their strengths and strong will power. It will make the heart activity to send signals of gratitude and honor which will make the 3rd part of the brain to identify a feeling of appreciation. This gives them a sense of belonging and feeling of value.

It could go on and on but one thing remains constant; the ability to imbue people with “positive talk.” The subsequent impact is lasting impression that will make people to remember you for as long as they live.

Master the art to make of yourself a living legacy by touching the people you come into contact with.

Copyright @ 2017

Geoffrey Ndege

Geoffrey Ndege

Geoffrey Ndege is the Editor and topical contributor for the Daily Focus. He writes in the areas of Science, Manufacturing, Technology, Innovation, Governance, Management and International Emerging Issues. For featuring, promotions or support, reach out to us at info@dailyfocus.co.ke
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