Who Do You Marry or Get Married to?

The last week was quite a hectic one. Beside the tiredness that comes with a though week and high frequency decision making – note the light tone- there were great moments to reckon. To be honest, I learnt a lot within the last week. The beauty with knowledge is that you can’t have enough. That is why it is often said that learning never ends. Of course education can.

I recall one conversation we had with a senior friend of mine about marriage. It gave me a whole lot of different view about why people get married and the type of person they marry.

He asked, “Geoffrey, who will you marry?” I was quick to hit back with my genuine and witty answer, “I will marry a woman.”

That was pretty close to committing a suicidal social crime. Who does speak as such in this age and time? Only yours truly, me. He looked at me and retorted, “You mean you marry anybody as long as they are a woman?”

And I was right back with my good answers, “Of course I don’t marry any woman, she should stand apart, be a woman of “power” and match my expectation – C0mpatibility.”

He looked at me, straight into the eye and spoke a poignant point to sum his experience of time to a young igno-smart boy as me. If you are going to study the etymology of the word igno-smart, I am almost sure you won’t find it. Its’ semantics can only be explained by me. It simply means ignorant-smart.

“You don’t just marry any woman. You marry a person who will be a mother to your children; a whole generation. So when you choose who to marry, choose not the looks, rather search deep within for the real person.” Simply put, you don’t marry the morphology of the person but the functionality of their being.

You don’t just marry anybody. You marry a generation, a friend and a true companion.

The old people know that it can be challenging to know the tasty mango in a pile. Do you just conclude that the ripest mango is the sweetest? That is the mistake made by the young men and women of my age who are mostly driven by sight and not intellect.

Our world of instant gratification leads us to just marry a man or woman and before long we are crying ourselves bitter to divorce. We, in our ignorant and mischievous wit decide to commit to our partners instead of the institution and purpose of marriage.

Myles Munroe in his book The Purpose and Power of Love and Marriage clearly states:

“Success in marriage does not depend on a spouse committing themselves to EACH OTHER as much as it does to their committing to themselves to MARRIAGE, the unchanging institution that they have MUTUALLY entered into.” This does not happen with any person. You must have chosen wisely to be committed to the marriage with the right person.

It then becomes out-rightly clear that we choose more than the person we see. As a matter of fact as Munroe puts it, “the person we marry is not the person we will live with, because that person is changing all the time.”

So if we just marry a man or woman, chances are that when they change slightly, we will hate them dearly which contradicts the meaning of marriage. But if we married a person who will build us, develop our generation, encourage us and love us, irrespective of their and our changing, we will still love them.

So when we choose to marry, we marry a person we can be around with and find it charming as though we just met. We marry a person who will join us and together we start a generation which we will be proud to be associated with.

We want to tell other people like, “you know what Mr. X? That is my son. That is my daughter. That is my wife. That is my grandchild.” We want to be proud of our families and proudly associate ourselves with them which crystallizes the true meaning of marriage.

When we marry, we marry the person who will come to our lives and develop us. The person who will make the best of us. The person who will make sure we reach our full potential and that we make good use of our skills and talent.

We marry the person who loves us and wishes the best for us.

Above everything else; we marry the person who understands us and faithfully together, we spiritually grow. We marry the person together with whom we build a little heaven here on earth.


Copyright @ 2017

Geoffrey Ndege

Geoffrey Ndege

Geoffrey Ndege is the Editor and topical contributor for the Daily Focus. He writes in the areas of Science, Manufacturing, Technology, Innovation, Governance, Management and International Emerging Issues. For featuring, promotions or support, reach out to us at info@dailyfocus.co.ke
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