Boy child needs empowerment too; Don’t Lose Hope though.

I was perusing through a copy of the Sunday nation when I caught a glimpse of a topic in bold letters about the “new breed” of kept men. I read through it with a lot of interest because all matters gender touch on me; victim or not. I got to learn from the article about the breed of men who are willing to stay at home and let the woman provide. The stay at home daddies. This breed of men are the true fashion of the modern African men taking risks in their absolute state.

Claims from the single independent women state that the young men are the ones willing to bend the borderline and be the kept men and drink from the financial grip of the older mamas. Times have changed. Gone are the days when the man was the CEO of the home. I usually wonder in the Bible if Ahab was the man because he allowed Jezebel to run his affairs that resulted to the death of Naboth. It thus becomes logical at least on the periphery for the woman to take charge of relationship and home affairs even in our current age.

What happened to the African man I grew up seeing? The head of the family. What happened of the spiritual lord of the house? The high priest of the home as in ancient times. I can only speculate that it is the take of society to assume the muscled boy has to win always. Failing to win is condemnation. I have seen lots of women empowerment especially locally (as well as globally) which has left the boy child very vulnerable.

This is very visible in the little observations I have made (at least locally)in the cities of Mombasa, Nairobi and such towns as Nakuru, Kilifi and many others. You can spot the hopeless boy child conspicuously even though we have grown to think they are fighters at birth to their death beds.

I am a man. Society expects a lot from men. I have been brought up to understand so. I work as much as I can and the little I can make, I know it is for me and society. I was trained to be a man as I grew up. It is the man to be the head of the home, he is to provide for the family, he is to offer protection as well as direction to the family; children and mother. He has to be there. He has to work so that the family cannot lack. It is me and my generation.

The boy child needs serious empowerment now more than ever. Photo courtesy of Africa Foundation.

Today this training is becoming a core challenge for the boy child. In our time, our daddies were there to imbue in us those priceless gems of knowledge about what being a man means. We agreed to take the lessons head on and work them out in play. So the modern man (father) works themselves out to be the men they were trained to be by their fathers. Others spend much time drinking in distress. This results in absentee fatherhood that is bringing the boy child to utter ruin.

The boy child ends up detached at an earlier age because the father has ignored him and society has closed its eyes to his problems. Moms have a lot of time with their girls on the other hand. Those that miss the parental glamour have society to champion for them and roll in to their rescue. Society empowers them because as the ‘weaker sex’ they have to be tended for. Empowerment has thus endowed the girl child with confidence and power she lacked decades ago. We can agree it has enabled them for a change that has become for the better of our societies.

I am of the opinion that as we empower the girl child, the boy child should not be left out. Leaving the boy child out makes them fearful, ignored and left out which makes them lose self-esteem and all they can do is not stand in the face of our great women of power.

The boy child is losing hope that he can’t stand head high as he used because nobody seems to notice him. It is like trying to shout water when everybody else is shouting wine. You will end recoiling to a corner and let the winners take the day. Men should mold the young ‘tigers’ and society should empower them as much as the girl child.

Imagine what a society we will have if the boy child can stand head up and the girl child stand up too in their undertakings. It may have to be the near perfect society. We may not be talking of a threatened boy child. It will mean equal freedom for both genders. That is how gender disparity can be made a history.

Right now a boy child cannot talk at times because the girl child ‘can stay or do without him’. Is that how it was supposed to be? The day of the literally I can’t stay without you are gone. We may need to start looking at how we can begin to stay together because as human beings, we are born to be social beings. Companionship is crucial. If we can ignore that, then it means we have started losing the essence of our being. At least we have to work together, it is for our good.

Boy child, don’t lose hope. We can change things. Let us stand up and measure up to the standard. We are still the men. Girl child is our helper and when everyone takes their lead as deemed appropriate, that is gender equality now.

Copyright @ 2018


Geoffrey Ndege

Geoffrey Ndege

Geoffrey Ndege is the Editor and topical contributor for the Daily Focus. He writes in the areas of Science, Politics, Policy, Technology, Current Affairs, Opinion, Agriculture, Energy, Education, Entrepreneurship, Governance, International Emerging Issues, Society, and culture. For featuring, promotions or support write to us at
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