Relationships are like buildings; nobody will ever tell you this. Like a house, its lasting time depends on the strength of the foundations and the pillars. I am made to believe that men and women share one thing when it comes to relationships; they value certain key things. Those are the things I will highlight in this piece and try to get both perspectives as held by both genders. Remember that the success or failure of a relationship is dependent on both partners.

Trust, respect and equalityrelationship-compatibility_zpsdd5f5e93

Trust and respect are far more the most treasured virtues in relationships. The word trust appears more than one hundred and fifty three times in the bible depending on the version and is the building block of faith. Trust is confidence or reliance on your partner and it takes time to build it. To destroy trust can take only one second hence should be the most treasured thing in a relationship. Meet and talk about what the relationship you want to have should look like. Both of you should work effortlessly to live up to the resolutions you come up with for your relationship to be successful at the end. Living up to the requirements and doing exactly as both of you agree; is the ultimate way of winning confidence in each other and hence the trust. Amid a little turmoil here and there in the relationships, amicable solving methods usually end them well.

With trust and following whatever agreements you both come up with means there is a mutual respect that is developed between the two of you. When partners feel equal, there is no ownership or domination by one person hence equal rights, opportunities and responsibilities. With such, mutual trust develops over time holding the relationship firmly in place and even leads to other spheres above marriage.

Mutual decision making.

When two people agree to be in a relationship, it means the self is somehow lost. In any doings that affect the both of you, putting minds together and agreeing to a one decision is simply consultation. Any matter however small should be agreed upon by both parties and this is what is termed as mutual decision making. I have come to know that women love so much to be consulted by their husbands and that is how they simply feel loved. To reach a point where the man consults the woman in a marriage scenario, it must have started while they were courting, through engagement to marriage. To successfully have the “we” in marriage, then the preliminaries should be developed in the earlier stages of the relationship. Women should also consult their men and I bet for happiness in such relationships and even later in marriage.

Good communication.

There is no successful relationship that was not built on good communication. Mind this, that when communication hits the rock, then the relationship is no more. Communication is not just communication; good communication is the ultimate foundation and stem of a relationship. Good communication means being a good listener and one that expresses himself/herself clearly. Being a good speaker though isn’t enough; articulate your concerns quite well and with little ambiguity as possible. Men have a small problem of not expressing themselves well or rather exhaustively through actions and sometimes can have a little mess in keen listening. Women on the other hand are quite good listeners but not so good in expressing themselves though talk. Understanding this can help lighten up a few misunderstanding especially when one feels ignored. In some cases it’s the failure of us to understand both sexes in terms of communication weakness and strengths that complicates trivial things in relationships.

Resolving conflict

Like a normal day, there is sunrise, noon and sunset. In relationships it is not different either. There are times when the relationship is at its best while at times it could be on rocks because of normal and understandable reasons. Being able to resolve the misunderstanding is the key to keeping you going. Agree to loose and be defeated in disagreements for the sake of the relationship. It took time to make that relationship and definitely lots of emotional, financial and moral resources. So the next time you are on the verge of letting go, hold on a little longer.

With these pillars, we can build successful relations. You only need to live up to them and invest yourselves full in them. I will be happy to learn that they did help you.



Geoffrey Ndege

Geoffrey Ndege

Geoffrey Ndege is the Editor and topical contributor for the Daily Focus. He writes in the areas of Science, Politics, Policy, Technology, Current Affairs, Opinion, Agriculture, Energy, Education, Entrepreneurship, Governance, International Emerging Issues, Society, and culture. For featuring, promotions or support write to us at
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