The Greatest Problem in Communication

“The greatest problem in communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished,” George Bernard Shaw. This is largely true and is often heightened by the fact that we cannot control how our listeners decide to understand what we communicate.

I read about this powerful world-renowned speaker who went to a conference and gave a presentation to a group of people. In that audience, he observed one lady who kept her eyes glued on him throughout the entire session.

This guy decoded that to mean a very keen attention to get the maximum value out of the presentation. After the presentation, the speaker caught up with the lady and remarked how that topic of presentation must have been of great interest to her and how she must have gained a lot from it.

To his dismay, the lady told him she had gained very little as she had been struggling to read his lips since he moved a lot while on the stage. Now, this is a great illustration of the illusion we often develop that communication has taken place only to realize later that whatever we intended to have been achieved out of the communication was never what the other party understood.

Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how good your intentions would be in passing a certain message across. The greatest determinant of whether communication has taken place or not lies in how the other person understands and interprets that message.

This gets even more complex when you consider the 7-38-55 rule developed by University of California professor, Albert Mehrabian. Albert stated that most times when we communicate, 7 percent of meaning is communicated through spoken words, 38 percent through the tone of voice, and 55 percent through body language.

In the case where we choose the best words and write the best speeches with the assumption in mind that that way we will communicate in the best way possible, we forfeit the understanding that a fairly large percentage of communication is dependent on the delivery of the message itself. Of what matter is it to have the best speech presented in the worst way possible?

I learned this the hard way. Coming from a largely English country, I spent most time of my early life perfecting the vocabulary of words hoping to use them to communicate with clarity when called upon in the future. Fast forward and I found myself interacting with people whose English, a language they use as an auxiliary, was elementary or intermediate.

In this case, my illusion that communication takes place when you have used the best vocabulary was off into the dustbin. Why? Because in such a circumstance, I needed to use the simplest methods, not even words alone, to ensure communication has taken place.

There and then I discovered the power of body language and tone in the wider context of diverse cultural orientations that we fall into. I also discovered that for proper communication to take place, there is a great need to give or seek a little clarification most, if not all the time.

The illusion that communication has taken place can thus be solved by seeking or adding a little more information. For example, by asking the question, “What do you mean exactly?” so much confusion can be addressed upfront.

In the words of Isaac Newton, the best way to understand is a few good examples. This means that to ensure the audience has understood the information you are trying to convey, go the extra mile to illustrate it. Interact with the audience to gauge their level of understanding.

Of course, understanding itself has levels and often it is not only about simply understanding but gaining a proper understanding. Yes. some people understand a message but in the wrong way. Simply assuming that someone has understood is dangerous because you cannot tell whether that person understood the right things or the wrong ones until you inquire.

I have leaned towards the communicator in the entire writing so far. I am now wondering what if the recipient has the illusion that communication has taken place. In other words, he/she assumes that they have gotten what the other person wanted to put across.

The point I am driving at is that the danger of miscommunication based on the assumption that communication has taken place is a two-way thing. Hence, when you are passing a message to the other person or even listening, care should be taken to ensure that the right message has been communicated and understood well by both parties.

Perhaps the rule of this century should be to never assume that communication has taken place. I have had bad instances where people have assumed that I know what their intentions are or what they intended to communicate. I used to fall for this very often back in the day (though my assumptions were correct three-quarters of the time) but I have since changed track.

It is important to make sure there are no grey areas in communication. The devil, often, is in the details. So never develop the illusion that communication has taken place. Instead, ensure that it has taken place.