Does it Matter Who You Marry?


Marrying the right person means completeness in life. Photo Courtesy of Daughters of Africa.

“If you marry a good wife you are complete in your life. If you marry a bad wife you are finished. But if f you marry a wife who loves shopping, then you are completely finished.” This was Guru Narendra Raval’s closing remarks in a graduation ceremony in one of the universities in Kenya.

Now it happened that last week on Tuesday early in the morning I came across a short video on Narendra’s journey to success on YouTube. It sparked in me some curiosity and I decided to watch it. From a humble beginning as a shopkeeper in Gikomba, the astute entrepreneur has grown to own multiple companies in myriad sectors in our economy today.

The issue of the wife came again in this short clip. Guru, as he is fondly known remarked that the success credited to him has largely to do with the support he has received from his wife. He finds a lot of happiness being at home with his family than going drinking in bars with friends.

The wife who also featured briefly in the clip came out as a very supportive partner. She said of her commitment to accompany her husband in a lot of his business trips as well as offer him any support he needs in his daily business life.

In fact she hinted often she waits for him so that they can eat together. She prayed with him and also spent time with him in the evenings. Now, how can you fail to be successful if you find such a kind of support from the love of your life?

The previous two days before this Tuesday morning, I had had a discussion with some young ladies on who determines the success of a family. They all agreed that it largely depended on the woman. Why is it so? Of course even our dads told us that we build the homes, probably the infrastructure but one fact remains; the home is made by the woman.

I then went ahead to inquire from these young women in their early twenties if they could go ahead and be accountable partners to their husbands to ensure they are the best of themselves. Perhaps they misunderstood the intent of the question because a number of them blatantly remarked that a husband is a mature person and needs to know what is expected of them all the time so to say.

There is a huge challenge with such kind of a thinking, probably because parenting has largely evolved and shifted over the years. Back in the days the women were trained to be home makers and supportive to their husbands. They received proper ‘apprenticeship’ besides other homemaking skills.

In the recent past, the homemaking skills expanded to include training in various professions and then came the era of the career woman. This was a great positive milestone to the woman. But something happened, they neglected the ‘apprenticeship’ on the real homemaking skills.

What has happened over the years after this great development is the fact that the independence of the modern career woman has left each family party to scramble with trying to be the person who is head of the family. Truth however will remain that the man will be the head of the family and the new breed of female leaders will be those who are learned and yet appreciate this simple fact.

No wonder the success of the family and the man of the house largely depends on the woman of the home. Once this is achieved then the support and love from the husbands is often automatic in most instances. This means empowerment to the woman of the house to reach her highest potential as well and this ripple effect goes a long way to impact even the children.

Someone in a nutshell remarked that the yes it matters who you marry. This should be a person who intellectually challenges you, is ambitious and inspires you to be the better version of yourself besides making an effort to be with you.

The person should be emotionally consistent as well, a good empathizer, honest with you and others. Also the person ought to be focused on improving themselves while also not interested in being jealousy and petty. This simply means that the person should give you freedom to be you and trusts you to make your own decisions which they trust will be for the good of the whole family.

In a nutshell, the points can be summarized to mean that they are pointing us to marry people who are understanding, loving, patience and supportive to us. These points comes to play when you look at Guru Narendra Raval journey’s journey and the love of his life.

If you are already married it is never too late to become the best husband or wife to you partner. Like the guys who decided to pursue their dreams in old age and became successful, you too in your advanced age can become the best partner to you love. A lot of humility will help you here.

So yes, it matters a lot who you marry. You marry the right person, then you are complete. You marry the wrong person it means you are finished. You marry the wrong person with wrong habits, attitudes and without understanding then you are completely finished.



Geoffrey Ndege

Geoffrey Ndege

Geoffrey Ndege is the Editor and topical contributor for the Daily Focus. He writes in the areas of Science, Manufacturing, Technology, Innovation, Governance, Management and International Emerging Issues. For featuring, promotions or support, reach out to us at
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