It All Begins and Ends at Home.

There is something with home, something we cannot say but feel. Home is good. Home is better. Home is best. And to understand what it means to talk of home, ask people around randomly where they find utmost peace on this planet and a lot of them will simply say; home.

Again, home can be the worst nightmare on the other hand. A lot of people too cannot fathom the idea of going home any time simply because the home environment is hostile. That is why to some, home is an Eden sought of while to others it can be a hell.

I learnt about the role a home plays to a lot of people when I followed an issue of students who were behaving badly in school. The school principal wouldn’t understand what was wrong with the rogue behavior of these students and wouldn’t think of anything better other than an expulsion.

Things would later take a twist of turn when one teacher took it upon himself to try and unmask the root cause of this bad behavior. He went digging on the student’s histories and found out that a lot of them had issues from their homes.

Some were being mistreated by their parents, others were as a result of observing violence in their homes to the extreme cases of drug abuse due to peer influence as a result of parental absenteeism. It simply means that before people can begin to treat the symptoms, they better treat the disease; the cause to be precise.

There is something with home that most of us cannot explain. Sometimes I would be away for a long time and then I start feeling as though I am missing something. After a soul-searching experience, I finally discover that what I miss is simply home.

Critically though, what I miss is not the place that we call home. It is the environment that is created by the home. And this is as result of knowing that I am understood, loved, cared for and accepted beyond measure at home by my family. Home is where I can be and be absolutely free.

Were it to be that our home is hostile, reeks of rebellion, abuse, rejection and all the negativeness, it is a fact that I couldn’t miss it. On the extreme end, I could feel the attachment of the place simply because I was born and raised there and it is where I spent the largest part of my life yet all these can be shelved by the simple fact of knowing that emotionally I cannot be at peace there.

Thus, home is largely more of the abstract rather than the physical. What counts the most is simply the connection, the peace of mind, the feeling of being understood and accepted. There is nothing that makes us happy than knowing we have a place to retreat to when things go hay wire.

That is the reason why home can never be comparable to any other place on this earth. The place closest to our mother’s bosoms and our fathers’ laps. This is where we grew up knowing we could find security and it doesn’t change often.

So, how impactful is the home environment in terms of scope and breadth? We will look at this in a wide perspective right from academia, to work environment to as far as religious and social circles. And to understand this well, we will have to use a few case studies or examples.

To begin with, a colleague to my friend was doing so well at the work place. He had become the envy of his coworkers because of his efficiency. At the time, as I was told, he was a happy family man. He had the support of the wife from home.

Then one day, as fate could have it, his marriage hit the rocks and the guy started getting stressed up. The once vibrant worker in the office started being dull. He started distancing himself and was often late and erroneous. He was even served with warnings.

It could later be discovered that his marriage issues had taken a toll on him and hence affected his productivity. A psychiatrist’s intervention is what helped him at the end of the day. He was slowly creeping into depression. And this is a perfect example of how the circumstances at home largely determine our well-being even to outside the home environment.

Another case is that of a young executive who became so successful in his endeavors, and one day, when he was asked what was the secret of his success, he pointed to his family. They were his greatest motivators and cheerleaders.

To him, his performance in the office was directly tied to the support he had at home. What a motivation when you know that besides the good meals, the peace of the house and the comfy beds, we have our families with us to stand by our side and give us that support so dearly needed at all times. What a joy!

We have options when it comes to the choices we make. And one of the greatest choices that we make and which have the greatest impacts in our lives is the partners we marry. When we marry our friends, we more often insure our happiness and productivity or so it is said.

It may not be perfect, for we know that there is no perfection in this world, but one thing we understand is the assurance at least, that we can have a shoulder to lean on with them. And that is one provided by our families and friends. We can lose everything, yet our true families cannot leave us. That assurance in its positivity or negativity determines a lot in our lives.

And it is something that is founded upon the home environment and its relationships. When everything else is gone, at least we have our families at end of the day. The home is the drug that determines if we live or die and in what manner; happily, or distressed.

I pray and hope that your home and family become your greatest motivators in your daily endeavors.

End