“The Snithe…” Are Men Really Blind When Choosing a Wife?

Men are not always blind on their choices. Photo Courtesy of Pinterest

A tweet caught my attention. A simple tweet, but the thread it generated made it my tweet of the day. The lady who I suppose wrote it, wondered loudly why the not so beautiful girls get married to the handsome men. Beauty to mean size, shape, butt size, bust size, face, hair, legs and the like. The KOT who flow with high testosterone levels pounced on this tweet with a swiftness of an eagle on mission to snatch a farmer’s chick. Such a swiftness was aimed at justifying this seventh wonder of the world.

In thinking deeply about the matter at hand, I was left to wonder if men are really blind when it comes to choosing who their life partner becomes. Simply said, our choices seem to baffle a million women in the world. Some work hard day and night to try and understand what is it that makes men tick with the ‘below average’ women they decide to settle with. It often goes beyond the looks.

What men look for in woman varies from one person to another but there are some fundamental principles that don’t seem to change with a majority of them. One respondent to my tweet of the day spew pangs of venom at the ‘beauty’ cream over their entitlement mentality. He believed that beautiful women feel as though they are doing their husbands a huge favor for being there for them as a wife.

Yet another one explained that even though men will tend to be attracted to looks first, they will seek to look beyond and into posterity. If they feel threatened at the slightest that you won’t respect them, they will run for the hills. Humility to them is a virtue and will go a long way to make unions last a long way. And men know that marriage is not a one month affair, it is ideally a life time thing. Most will be critical about the choices they make.

Men are a unique strain of people. They can know from the onset who they will count on for a wife and who they will pimp for their own soul’s gratification. The later will be the lady who intrinsically beliefs she is the heartbeat of this man but with no wifely traits. Sometimes blindness contingent on physical beauty and morphology brings about irrational judgment for some of us men and that is how we find ourselves in unions of convenience. But most of the time they can’t last to bear the storm.

So from the string of tweets that followed this tweet, I noted a few things men look for in a wife material. The first one every other men was talking about related to character. Explaining this character is however an issue. Most men cannot explicitly point it out as an individual trait or characteristic. Character is a complex thing and often entails mental and ethical traits that make a person. It is not just being kind, but also mental strength. Sometimes you may think it is about respect yet it goes down to moral conduct especially in how you react to sensitive issues.

So character in its entirety develops a strong mind and it brings out a unique individuality in a person. This is what develops charisma and independence of a person. Character embodies personality and goes deeper inside to depict the emotional intelligence of person. Simply said, all these is what cultivates the aspect of trust for men. They have to find a comfortable pillow inside of you to lodge in. So you realize there is no physical aspect here.

Then a wife material has to be a futuristic person. She has to be thinking about the family to put up, how to care for each other, what to do to ensure this family will be happy. She will have to be trained on her roles as a wife and a mother. She has to be a planner, an orderly person not prone to self-indulgence and one who has a caring heart. If a man realizes you are the type jumping from one party to another and by morning you have been in five clubs and only wonder where you are waking up from, you are in for a rude shock. That is not what any serious guy could look forward to. Again if you are just too full of yourself, then the future could be break.

The wife means a lot to the success of the family and the husband. We know what Mckenzie did for Jeff Bezos during the early days of Amazon. The same as what Melinda Gates has been to Bill Gates and their foundation to the role played by Tsitsi Masiyiwa in transforming lives of the poor here in Africa as well as support to her husband Strive and Econet. Examples are many, just look around you and you realize a woman determines the success of the family.

Every company has a vision, where they want to be, and a mission, how to get there. It is equally the same for a relationship and a marriage for that matter. Plan together, know what your life goals should be. Speak about your fears, your weaknesses and strengths and let the other individual come in to supplement you. Entitlement suppresses relationship vitality which in turn breeds insecurity and disrespect. Avoid it.

So when a man hits on you, it means two things. One, he has seen something in you worth chasing for to a likelihood of you becoming his baby mama or he has seen you as some beauty to play and fondle with and nothing more than that. Simple. Men are not blind, they know what they look for in a woman depending on what the woman is from the word go. I don’t know what women look for in a man but once I know, I will pin it down for The Snithe.

Copyright @ 2019

The Snithe will be a weekly edition on this platform and will be tackling love, family, marriage and relationships.

Geoffrey Ndege

Geoffrey Ndege

Geoffrey Ndege is the Editor and topical contributor for the Daily Focus. He writes in the areas of Science, Manufacturing, Technology, Innovation, Governance, Management and International Emerging Issues. For featuring, promotions or support, reach out to us at info@dailyfocus.co.ke
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