I Need a Woman. A Wife.

It is said to be a blessed life. Who doesn’t want that? Photo Courtesy of Zahrah Rose

I sat down to have a boys talk with one of my very many boys. Whenever we sit down for such, our topics range from money, politics, women, sports, business and many other topics which could be emerging at that point in time.

Truth be told though that when men meet and talk, their topics never go beyond money, women, sports and politics. Everything else becomes secondary. But for my case, we were having a general catch-up kind of talk. We were trying to audit how life was like after losing contact for some lengthy time.

From this early on, let me put things on point that my so-called boy whom we were having a talk with is a married man. At some point we were like Kenya and Seychelles in the mid of the past century but now, we are like the two countries at their current states.

In other words, we were junior bachelors, then we transitioned to mid-level bachelors and then took different paths. I better stop there before you start thinking I am the patron of the senior bachelors club in the country. Nevertheless, I am not bad with ranks when it comes to these things.

So, we spoke about out paths, what we were after and then we chatted about the future. What was in store for us in that future?  And all we could do was to project and envision. After all, who doesn’t know that what the future holds for us for tomorrow is mystery, none of us knows.

At some point I made a remark on how confused I was on what next step to take in regards to some aspects of my life that needed attention. Then from nowhere, this guy cuts me short and keeps silent for a short time and then asks me if I want to hear the truth.

Of course, who doesn’t want a truth told to them especially when they think that that truth probably means good for them. I quickly responded and waited for a properly thought presentation with some theories and practical aspects as well as proposals.

Suddenly with a deep sounding voice he remarked, “you need a woman.  A wife.” And with that he again kept quiet and looked at me as though I was a lunatic. With that statement, I quickly asked him if a woman at times could be medication.

He went ahead and told me to take his advice and act on it. Before I could take this advice which he believed was magical for me, I asked him to be a case study to me so that I could decipher what is this that he believed was the antidote I needed and one which could only be found in a woman.

Before he could go ahead with his lecture as that is what it had become now, he reminded me that whoever he was talking about was not a mere woman but rather a wife. He proceeded to tell me that any woman can be by you side and not make any better of you.

On the other hand, a wife is the person who comes to your life and helps you focus. She keeps you on your toes to become the best of you. Did I say the best? Oh no, she makes the very best of you.  She helps you to be more than what you could be envisioning of yourself.

For him, my friend, he finds a purpose in waking up and working very hard every single day because of his family. Before that, he probably was like me. But I am not that bad like he could have been thinking. I have a few children who look up to me and think I inspire them.

And I trust that if I don’t inspire them today, then I will, some day in the future. Given the fact that I have already been condemned to the scrutiny of public opinion as long as I remain single and will often be subjected to unfair scales of justice, I have thought deeply about this dose that was prescribed to me by one of my great friends.

My married friend lectured me on the need to have a complete life. He told me that when you have another person who equally beliefs on you with equal zeal as to the one that you have for yourself helps double your effort and prowess.

 Having another person to help you bear some burdens with helps makes life a little easier. We all have the bad days, but when you both know that there is a shoulder you can lean on and a ear that can listen to you makes things less weighty. The old adage goes that a matter shared is a matter half solved.

Knowing that you can be you around someone else and you wont have to fear to be judged or feel vulnerable is just enough. That in this person’s arms you can lay you head and slumber knowing you are safe. On those very clothes you can soak your tears and not worry. Not to say that in those arms you can take an embrace and feel connected and ready to protect each other.

Some enemies of progress as Mwalimu Andrew calls them will say that I was brainwashed to believe that it is a bliss. But mark you I haven’t said anything to that effect. We choose on what side of the coin we look at.

For me, it is my friend who believes I need a woman. A wife. And because we live in a free world, we are entitled to our own opinions.



Geoffrey Ndege

Geoffrey Ndege

Geoffrey Ndege is the Editor and topical contributor for the Daily Focus. He writes in the areas of Science, Manufacturing, Technology, Innovation, Governance, Management and International Emerging Issues. For featuring, promotions or support, reach out to us at dailyfocus9@gmail.com
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